How can we put privacy policies on every smart light bulb and thermostat, and who would want to read them all anyway? How can we help people create stronger passwords without increasing the chance that they will forget them? Why do people think about monkeys when they create passwords and turtles when they draw pictures of privacy? I’ll share highlights of my journey from student journalist to “accidental” computer science professor, with stints in technical standards, entrepreneurship, fiber arts, fashion design, and government service. I’ll talk about how I became interested in making privacy and security usable, and some of the research problems I’ve investigated at the intersection of security, privacy, usability, and human behavior. I’ll discuss ways to attack security user study participants without actually putting them at risk; how we determined that many people will pay extra for better privacy when shopping online; and how the Today Show camera crew ended up in my kitchen.